Not fast enough - but it will have to do

I withstood the pressures of the Easter long weekend pretty well.  We had the usual family get together with lots of food, treats and desserts.  But, I was sensible and kept my portions small but varied - getting lots of tastes and flavours without over indulging.  I even did pretty good with the chocolate - I had an occasional mini chocolate pilfered from one of the kids baskets, but not the choco-fest I would have had in the past.

Kids are sick AGAIN!  So again, my trips to the gym are limited, but I have been increasing my walk during my lunch hour to compensate.

My Doctor's advice all these years was just to watch my portion size - if I did that the weight would just melt away.  Other's told me to simply add more water to my diet and I would notice "immediate results".  And of course everyone has said to just get moving - not necessarily exercise but just get moving more - walk more.

So I have done all those things PLUS listening to the tracks and while the weight is coming off VERY slowly, I had hoped for something a little more dramatic.

I guess I had expected that by doing everything "right", I would see immediate results - just like everyone said I would.  Now I don't know if another person would see dramatic results and it is just my body being stubborn or what, but I would certainly enjoy seeing the numbers on the scale going down at a much quicker rate.

299 and loving it!

So I caved!  Last night I grabbed some creamy chocolate marshmallow with crunchy things inside of it ice cream.  Then because I was SO good, I had more, and more.  Thankfully I was a rather smallish container of ice cream because I don't think I would have stopped myself.  Either way, I ate the whole container and immediately felt ill.  I felt wretched the entire night and even this morning can feel the effects.  My sleep was horrible and full of strange dreams and even now the idea of any sort of food or drink is repugnant.

On the bright side, and yes, there is a bright side, I weighed myself this morning and I have officially dropped out of the 300s!  I am 299!  I would be doing a little happy dance right now if I didn't think my stomach would revolt!

Not sure what cause the scale to move, maybe it was just the water weight due to my period.  Either way, I am happy it is gone and very, very happy to learn from my binge.  It is JUST NOT WORTH IT!

Giving Up

This is usually the point at which I give up.

This morning I weighed myself and the damn scale didn't move!  Honestly I don't know how that could happen.  I have been drinking my water, exercising - which I never used to do, and eating really really well.  I have been mindful of my portion size, not indulging in mindless snacking like I would before.  Increased my veggies and decreased my carbs.  I have been listening to the tracks at least 4x a week.  I really feel like I have been doing everything right!

My jeans feel tight in the thighs and even the calves which I don't understand either!  I know I have been doing mostly the treadmill and adding in upper body weights, but I didn't think that my legs would increase in size - dear Lord!  They really don't need to be any bigger!

And to make matters worse, even though my treadmill work outs are going really well and I am able to go longer and have added lots of hills, I had a difficult time making it up three flights of stairs yesterday!  Stairs have never been my friend, but yesterday I sounded like a winded horse after I made it to the top!  I felt worse than I did before I started working out.  AND on a daily basis instead of feeling more energized by this new cleaner eating plan, exercise and water drinking, I am feeling MORE worn out, tired and exhausted!

So my temptation is to fling up my arms in defeat and find a container of the creamiest, chocolate-iest ice cream and just have at it.

I feel so defeated!  All this hard work - and it has been hard work!  Fitting in 3-4 trips to the gym a week, planning out my meals, keeping a food diary, finding alternatives to my food vices, forcing myself to down copious quantities of water.  It is impossible to imagine that with all the weight I have to lose that I would have hit a plateau already.

The real sucky part of it is, no one has noticed any difference yet.  I know that the actual amount of weight I have lost is just a drop in the bucket, but it would be far easier to stay motivated if my progress was noticeable.

OK so my whining is over for now.  Now I have to give myself a swift kick in the butt and get on with it.  What are the possible reasons for stalling?

• time of the month (TMI sorry :) )
• stress
• straight midnights make it harder on the body to lose weight
• did I cut my calories too much?
• I know my sleep patterns are not optimal for weight loss

 

If I can continue on with my plans for another month and a half regardless of results, than I will be off work for the summer and my body will get back into a natural rhythm.  Hopefully then, all this hard work will begin to show results!

Pre-Diabetes and the RDI

While I do not yet have "frank" diabetes, I am what is classified as Pre-Diabetic.


Pre-Diabetes from diabeteswellbeing.com- "The condition occurs when a person's blood glucose readings are elevated above normal, but lower than is considered a diagnosis of diabetes. This condition almost always exists in people prior to developing type 2 diabetes."

This quote from the endocrinologist.com quite matter of factly explains what my RDI portions should be.  I was having trouble figuring it out. 
"Overall, a nutrition plan for a person with diabetes includes 10 to 20 percent of calories from protein, no more than 30 percent of calories from fats (with no more than 10 percent from saturated fats), and the remaining 50 to 60 percent from carbohydrates. Carbohydrate foods that contain dietary fiber are encouraged, . Sodium intake of no more than 3000 mg per day is suggested."

What is the proper diet for Pre-Diabetes? from diabeteswellbeing.com
"The proper diet for pre diabetes really isn't that much different than if you have diabetes. Certainly, the stakes may be a bit higher with diabetes, and glucose control may be a bit more important. Nonetheless, you need to work on the following (to begin with):

• Portion Control - Stop eating so much!
• Avoid refined or processed carbohydrates (e.g., white sugar, white flower, high fructose corn syrup, etc.).
• Eat well balanced meals (less carbohydrates, more vegetables, fruit and lean protein)."

My RDI pie chart

  protein - 9%

fats - 20%

 carbs - 71%

Keeping all this in mind, I have been monitoring and tracking my food for the last couple of days, with regard to my RDI - my pie chart is a little heavy on the carbs and pretty light on the protein, therefore I will have to really work on that.  Of course, my comfort foods, my craving foods are all carb based.  REALLY gotta work on those cravings!

BMI and Goal Setting

Your BMI is 55.1 - severely obese

Your weight is substantially above the healthy range for your height, which means you have a higher than average risk of developing diseases associated with obesity.

Losing enough weight to bring your BMI to below 25 will benefit your health, and the way you look and feel.

You can lose weight by making sure the number of calories you eat each day is less than the number of calories you need to maintain your weight at its current level. This is best achieved by making changes to your eating habits so your diet is healthier, and starting to get some exercise which you can build up and maintain regularly.

It may sound crazy, but that was insanely hard to read.  I mean, it isn't a surprise to anyone that I am overweight.  Overweight and obese in my case are one and the same.  I can wear all the baggy clothes that I want to and it is never going to hide the fact that I am fat.  Uggggh, the dreaded F word.  I hate to say it, hear it or type it.  So reminiscent of my childhood "Fatty Fatty 2x4". "Tub of Lard", "Porker", "Pig", "Miss Piggy".  Is it any wonder I shudder when I hear the word?

I have never had a problem admitting to myself that my weight was an issue, but it certainly is hard to hear it from someone else, whether it be my husband (who is VERY careful to never say it), family, medical staff, clothing store clerks or even my 3 year old who yesterday told me I have a very, Very, VERY large bum!

With an eye toward staying in reality, I don't expect to ever get down to the ideal weight for my height which is 104-127lbs.  I mean, that is just a ridiculous number!  First of all it would require me to lose 200lbs, secondly, that is not a realistic weight for me.  I think that would be setting myself up for failure.  No one in my family is that thin, for a couple of generations back even.  We are bigger boned and at nearly 40, I don't even think I would look good at that weight.


My goal at this point is 175lbs which at a BMI of 31 is still considered obese, I would be much healthier, have much more energy and feel a whole lot better about myself.  It would mean a total weight loss goal of 136lbs (a whole person!).  Still, that feel like an insurmountable number.  Lets say I lost 3lbs week, which I don't think I would be able to do it would take me over 45 weeks!  A more reasonable number of 2lbs a week would take me 68 weeks which is well over a year!


I can hear Christopher Adams in my head already, it isn't a race, its a journey, its a process, don't put such pressure on yourself, it happened over time, it will take time to get it off, etc etc etc.  :)


I am more a reward based kind of girl, so I am going to break it up into more realistic chunks with non-edible rewards!  Things that will make me feel good about myself and be a treat.  The kind of thing a really busy mom of 5 just never manages to find the time for!

• manicure
• new hair style
• highlights
• massage
• pedicure

The chunks will be 25lbs.  Everytime I hit a milestone of 25lbs lost I will pick a treat and go do it.  I will probably purchase gift certificates on a mass purchase site like Groupon or Wagjag etc, to keep the prices down.  When I hit my big goal, I doing a whole spa day baby!  Gimme the works!  :)