Can Inspiration beat out fear?

Can I tell you a secret?  I feel silly even typing this out.  Every time I picture myself doing it, I imagine people pointing and laughing...I want to participate in the Niagara Falls Marathon this coming October by running the 5k Event.

Last year I stood at the finish line waiting for my then 11 year old daughter to cross with her schoolmates.  They had participated in the Schools Marathon Challenge that had them running at school during September and October, then they joined the marathon for the last couple of kilometres bringing their total combined running distance to 40km.

While waiting for the kids, I was able to watch as competitors in the 5k/10k events cross the finish line.  Lots of them were what you would expect from runners - lean, wiry, excellent shape.  But some of them we senior citizens, a man recovering from heart surgery, breast cancer survivors, obese people, families, fathers and their young children.  Sometimes as a person crossed, the announcer would give out tidbits of information - for example the man recovering from heart surgery, he had the surgery 6 months prior and had decided to make radical changes to his life.

I was so proud of these people.  Truth be told, I paid very little attention to the regular runners, I waited very impatiently for all the rest, the unexpected runners, the ones with stories.  I repeatedly teared up as they finished their races, so impressed and touched by what I imagined their journeys had entailed to get to that point.  Some were taking pictures of themselves as they passed  under the banner - their pride shining out for the world to see.  Others had whole cheering sections going wild for them.  For the ones that ran with friends, there were laughs, hugs and some tears of joy and accomplishment.

Looking around at the rest of the cheering crowds, I didn't see derision or mocking on their faces.  They seemed to be feeling the same things, cheering for every single person that finished their events.  Why would it be any different if I were to participate?

I try to imagine my entire family there at the finish line, cheering wildly and waving signs or posters as I came down the road - but sadly I can't.  My parents wouldn't make it because it would be too difficult for my father and he can't stand loud crowds.  My older sister would make excuses that she had other commitments.  My little sister would probably come, but she would be busy paying attention to other things.

My husband and kids would be there, but unless I made the signs and posters with the little ones, it wouldn't happen.  And I would get to hear about how stressful it is to have all the kids in a giant crazy crowd like that and how hard it was on him waiting and waiting for the event to be finished.

I could put out a general invite to some friends but I would be shattered if none of them came.

I'm half tempted to just do it but not tell anyone, just so I don't have to be disappointed with their lack of encouragement.  It would be easier to just do the run without any expectations than to be horribly disappointed at the end.

Is this too big of a goal?  Can goals be too big?  If I start really working toward this, I have 8 months to train and prepare.  Technically it is a 5k Run/Walk, so even if I am not able to run the whole thing, but rather do a combination, it would still be a significant accomplishment.

Gosh, I have a whole lot of positive self talking to do!

BMI and Goal Setting

Your BMI is 55.1 - severely obese

Your weight is substantially above the healthy range for your height, which means you have a higher than average risk of developing diseases associated with obesity.

Losing enough weight to bring your BMI to below 25 will benefit your health, and the way you look and feel.

You can lose weight by making sure the number of calories you eat each day is less than the number of calories you need to maintain your weight at its current level. This is best achieved by making changes to your eating habits so your diet is healthier, and starting to get some exercise which you can build up and maintain regularly.

It may sound crazy, but that was insanely hard to read.  I mean, it isn't a surprise to anyone that I am overweight.  Overweight and obese in my case are one and the same.  I can wear all the baggy clothes that I want to and it is never going to hide the fact that I am fat.  Uggggh, the dreaded F word.  I hate to say it, hear it or type it.  So reminiscent of my childhood "Fatty Fatty 2x4". "Tub of Lard", "Porker", "Pig", "Miss Piggy".  Is it any wonder I shudder when I hear the word?

I have never had a problem admitting to myself that my weight was an issue, but it certainly is hard to hear it from someone else, whether it be my husband (who is VERY careful to never say it), family, medical staff, clothing store clerks or even my 3 year old who yesterday told me I have a very, Very, VERY large bum!

With an eye toward staying in reality, I don't expect to ever get down to the ideal weight for my height which is 104-127lbs.  I mean, that is just a ridiculous number!  First of all it would require me to lose 200lbs, secondly, that is not a realistic weight for me.  I think that would be setting myself up for failure.  No one in my family is that thin, for a couple of generations back even.  We are bigger boned and at nearly 40, I don't even think I would look good at that weight.


My goal at this point is 175lbs which at a BMI of 31 is still considered obese, I would be much healthier, have much more energy and feel a whole lot better about myself.  It would mean a total weight loss goal of 136lbs (a whole person!).  Still, that feel like an insurmountable number.  Lets say I lost 3lbs week, which I don't think I would be able to do it would take me over 45 weeks!  A more reasonable number of 2lbs a week would take me 68 weeks which is well over a year!


I can hear Christopher Adams in my head already, it isn't a race, its a journey, its a process, don't put such pressure on yourself, it happened over time, it will take time to get it off, etc etc etc.  :)


I am more a reward based kind of girl, so I am going to break it up into more realistic chunks with non-edible rewards!  Things that will make me feel good about myself and be a treat.  The kind of thing a really busy mom of 5 just never manages to find the time for!

• manicure
• new hair style
• highlights
• massage
• pedicure

The chunks will be 25lbs.  Everytime I hit a milestone of 25lbs lost I will pick a treat and go do it.  I will probably purchase gift certificates on a mass purchase site like Groupon or Wagjag etc, to keep the prices down.  When I hit my big goal, I doing a whole spa day baby!  Gimme the works!  :)