Taking a break

So I know that the last time I posted I said I was back and ready to recommit to losing the weight and getting healthy.  I was going to get back on track!  Well the next day, my world was de-railed again - but in a good way.

My daughter has been struggling with an undiagnosed issue for over 4 years.  We have exhausted our options here and reached out to the Mayo Clinic.  They have agreed to see her and have booked a weeks worth of tests and consultations.  Hopefully at the end of that week we will have a diagnosis and then can begin treatment.  The downside is it will be very expensive.    Looking for Answers for Leah her journey can be found here A blog outlining So all my energy over the next couple of months will be focused on fundraising, writing letters of appeal and getting her emotionally and mentally ready for the trip.

On another positive note, normally in a high stress time like this I would be stuffing my face 24/7 as a way to deal with it all, I have not been.  I am  not craving food the way I used to.  I have been sleeping well with the help of the tracks and I have the confidence and inner strength to step way outside of my comfort zone and deal with all of this.

If I never loose all the weight, I will  still be eternally grateful to Christopher and his team for these positive improvements in my life.

I intend to return to the tracks and the blogging in September and look forward to catching up with everyone then.

Wish us luck!

I'm back!

Been away for a long time.  Haven't been logging my food or tracking my exercise.  Haven't been exercising as much as I wanted to and haven't been careful with my eating and I haven't been weighing myself.  And of course if I have let all that slide, I haven't made the time to listen to the tracks either.  Add all that together and I have gained a couple of pounds. 

Do I have a good excuse for any of this?  Good?  Maybe not, but excuses I have by the dozens!  Some are better than others, but mostly, life has been crazy hectic.  My work shut down for the summer so I have had to switch my entire life back to daytime hours.  Which means the nice schedule I had set up for myself, finding time to do things on my break at work, or when the kids were in school and the toddler was at my mom's has gone out the window.  I am back to on duty Mom 24/7.  Not that I am ever not a Mom 24/7, but now I am home and awake and available for all manner of needs, wants, crisis, appointments, school trips etc.

For the next couple of months I need to develop a new routine, a new schedule that I can keep to and benefit from.

So I guess my question right now is, do I start from the beginning with the tracks?  Start all over and work my way up to the operation again?  I will drop in on the Facebook forum and ask the question there as well, but as it stands, that is what I am going to do.

In the spirit of starting over, I have finally posted my measurements.  I have delayed this for an incredibly long time because I was just plain afraid of the numbers.  But here they are.

Neck 17", Waist 53.5, Hips 60", Thigh 28", Upper Arm  19", Chest  53"

I had also promised photos.  UGGGGHHHHHH!  OK here I am in all my glory!  (flash is deliberate!)

Still working my plan....

Only 2 weeks left until I am done my midnights for the summer.  I will work an additional 2 weeks of day shifts, on my feet for the entire day going room to room doing move out inspections after the students have left.  Between the heat, the 8 hours of walking and being back to daytime hours, I lose weight each year.  So *fingers crossed* this year will be the same.

I am hoping that once I get off the midnights, my body will normalize and stop being so stubborn and let go of some of this weight and regain some of its energy.

I am continuing to listen to the tracks and getting to the gym 2x a week and doing other exercise at home on the off days.  My water intake is still high and my portions and food choices are still good.

I see lots of new members on the support page and see that so many are actively using the tracks and finding some success.  Congratulations to all that have begun this journey!

Looking forward to the webinar on the 24th!  

Not fast enough - but it will have to do

I withstood the pressures of the Easter long weekend pretty well.  We had the usual family get together with lots of food, treats and desserts.  But, I was sensible and kept my portions small but varied - getting lots of tastes and flavours without over indulging.  I even did pretty good with the chocolate - I had an occasional mini chocolate pilfered from one of the kids baskets, but not the choco-fest I would have had in the past.

Kids are sick AGAIN!  So again, my trips to the gym are limited, but I have been increasing my walk during my lunch hour to compensate.

My Doctor's advice all these years was just to watch my portion size - if I did that the weight would just melt away.  Other's told me to simply add more water to my diet and I would notice "immediate results".  And of course everyone has said to just get moving - not necessarily exercise but just get moving more - walk more.

So I have done all those things PLUS listening to the tracks and while the weight is coming off VERY slowly, I had hoped for something a little more dramatic.

I guess I had expected that by doing everything "right", I would see immediate results - just like everyone said I would.  Now I don't know if another person would see dramatic results and it is just my body being stubborn or what, but I would certainly enjoy seeing the numbers on the scale going down at a much quicker rate.

299 and loving it!

So I caved!  Last night I grabbed some creamy chocolate marshmallow with crunchy things inside of it ice cream.  Then because I was SO good, I had more, and more.  Thankfully I was a rather smallish container of ice cream because I don't think I would have stopped myself.  Either way, I ate the whole container and immediately felt ill.  I felt wretched the entire night and even this morning can feel the effects.  My sleep was horrible and full of strange dreams and even now the idea of any sort of food or drink is repugnant.

On the bright side, and yes, there is a bright side, I weighed myself this morning and I have officially dropped out of the 300s!  I am 299!  I would be doing a little happy dance right now if I didn't think my stomach would revolt!

Not sure what cause the scale to move, maybe it was just the water weight due to my period.  Either way, I am happy it is gone and very, very happy to learn from my binge.  It is JUST NOT WORTH IT!

Giving Up

This is usually the point at which I give up.

This morning I weighed myself and the damn scale didn't move!  Honestly I don't know how that could happen.  I have been drinking my water, exercising - which I never used to do, and eating really really well.  I have been mindful of my portion size, not indulging in mindless snacking like I would before.  Increased my veggies and decreased my carbs.  I have been listening to the tracks at least 4x a week.  I really feel like I have been doing everything right!

My jeans feel tight in the thighs and even the calves which I don't understand either!  I know I have been doing mostly the treadmill and adding in upper body weights, but I didn't think that my legs would increase in size - dear Lord!  They really don't need to be any bigger!

And to make matters worse, even though my treadmill work outs are going really well and I am able to go longer and have added lots of hills, I had a difficult time making it up three flights of stairs yesterday!  Stairs have never been my friend, but yesterday I sounded like a winded horse after I made it to the top!  I felt worse than I did before I started working out.  AND on a daily basis instead of feeling more energized by this new cleaner eating plan, exercise and water drinking, I am feeling MORE worn out, tired and exhausted!

So my temptation is to fling up my arms in defeat and find a container of the creamiest, chocolate-iest ice cream and just have at it.

I feel so defeated!  All this hard work - and it has been hard work!  Fitting in 3-4 trips to the gym a week, planning out my meals, keeping a food diary, finding alternatives to my food vices, forcing myself to down copious quantities of water.  It is impossible to imagine that with all the weight I have to lose that I would have hit a plateau already.

The real sucky part of it is, no one has noticed any difference yet.  I know that the actual amount of weight I have lost is just a drop in the bucket, but it would be far easier to stay motivated if my progress was noticeable.

OK so my whining is over for now.  Now I have to give myself a swift kick in the butt and get on with it.  What are the possible reasons for stalling?

• time of the month (TMI sorry :) )
• stress
• straight midnights make it harder on the body to lose weight
• did I cut my calories too much?
• I know my sleep patterns are not optimal for weight loss

 

If I can continue on with my plans for another month and a half regardless of results, than I will be off work for the summer and my body will get back into a natural rhythm.  Hopefully then, all this hard work will begin to show results!

Eating Out and Emotional Eating Success!

Along the same lines as my previous post, my husband and I go out to restaurants to celebrate things - whether it be a raise, promotion, birthday, anniversary, or just a date night.  Normally I love this, any chance to avoid cooking and I am all over it!  Not to mention the fun of trying out new foods, spice combinations and flavours.  We also really just enjoy the time to ourselves, when we don't have to worry about the kids and can focus on each other - something that we don't get to do very much with 5 busy and talkative kids at home.

Well last night my husband surprised me with an invitation out to dinner to celebrate a very important certification test he passed.  I have to admit I wasn't terribly gracious when I responded.  All I could think of was but I hadn't planned on this!  I have been trying very hard to be careful with my calories and my exercise.  Going out to dinner was going to throw all of that out the window!  It would mean my day's calorie counts would be blown and I wouldn't be able to go to the gym and work out - which amazingly enough I am starting to enjoy!

But keeping all my healthy eating info in mind and embracing the spontaneity of the occasion I quickly had a change of heart.  I grabbed a large drink bottle and drank down a pint of water to fill me up a bit so I wouldn't overindulge.  Then just as we were about to go out the door, I received some very upsetting news.  News that had me livid, so upset I wanted to physically destroy things.  Not a common feeling by any means but definitely enough to have me reeling and reaching out for food.  But get this.....I didn't!  I didn't self soothe with food, I didn't comfort eat and I didn't over indulge!

We went to the restaurant, I made excellent food choices - and not just for the sake of my "diet" but because I actually wanted a Greek Salad with Chicken hold the dressing and the croutons.  Hubby and I shared a dessert as part of the celebration but really, I could have done without it.  We talked.  And talked and talked.  It was great!  We discussed the upsetting news and what we were going to do about it.  We even went for a walk after dinner!

I feel so many things as I write this.  Normally I would have felt angry, bitter, guilty for overindulging, disgusted with myself for blowing my "diet" again.  Instead, I feel strong, powerful, in control and so, so proud of myself!

I can certainly get used to this feeling!